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Sigmund Freud says a persons name is the single context of human memory most apt to be forgotten. Feelings of embarrassment and social ineptitude are conveyed through this forgetfulness, and unfortunately, the problem persists daily. The ability to remember names is an important skill that gives you an advantage in social and business settings. However, the way you associate and remember names is based on your learning style and personality type.

The following list of ten effective ways to remember names combines visual, aural and strategic techniques. Once you find the best fit for you, it will become easier to avoid muttering the most awkward and impersonal sentence in the English language: Hey you!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition
As soon as you hear their name, repeat it back to the person. Its good to finally meet you, KarenI hear youre the expert on mufflers.
If you dont do this, you will forget her name within ten seconds of meeting her. Also be sure to repeat the name aloud in the beginning, during and at the end of the conversation. This will allow you to widen various areas of your memory circuit.
Thats a great story Stephanie! Wow Tony, you obviously know your hockey. If you speak the name, hear the name, and listen to yourself say the name, you will remember it.

Inquiry
The number one rule in interpersonal communication is to show a genuine interest in the other person. So, ask your new colleague to explain the personal significance of their name. Ask if they go by a nickname. Inquire about the culture from which their name was derived. The spelling question is also effective. Even if Dave or Bob is only spelled one way you can always ask if they prefer Dave, David, Bobby or Robert.

In so doing, you show them you care about them as a person. You also transform their name from an arbitrary fact into a meaningful representation of them. Ultimately, you will flatter them and make them feel appreciated.

Dramatize Faces
You probably remember faces better than you remember names. Great! This will only make it easier when you dramatize someones face and associate facial feature with their name. For example, if their nose or hair is particularly memorable, make a connection using alliteration with their name. Brian has bright red hair. Lucy has a long nose.

The trick is to make your associations and dramatizations memorable and interesting. Remember, that which is exaggerated and ridiculous is memorable.

Forget About You
Did I give him the cold fish handshake? Did I even look into her eyes? Do you think she noticed the logo on my company briefcase? If you try too hard to make a good first impression, odds are you will have no idea to whom you make a good first impression to!

So dont think about yourself! Forget about you! Concentrate on them. When you become too self-conscious and nervous during the moment of introduction, it will interfere with your memory.

Write Them Down
If you are a visual learner, write down the name of the person. This is a flawless method to remember. Most networking functions and meetings take place where tables, pens and paper are available.

Throughout the conversation, look down at the name in front of you, and then look at the person. Maria. Then look at the name again. Maria. Then look at the person again. Maria. Youll never forget.

The additional benefit when you do this, unbeknownst to you, is that at least one other person in your group will see you write the name down. Talk about a good first impression!

Inner Monologue
Imagine youve already used Samanthas name during the conversation. You seem to have it committed to memory. Then again, you dont want to overuse her name aurally. Even if a persons name is the sweetest sound they will ever hear, you dont want to make it too obvious that you use the repetition trick.

Fortunately, there are countless opportunities during the conversation to quickly say the name to yourself while you look at their face: while they get a pen, while they take a drink, while they get something out of their desk, while they laugh at your hilarious joke.

It only takes a few seconds to look at someone and silently think to yourself, Samantha. Samantha. Samantha. Dont worry; you wont miss anything if you choose to do this at the appropriate times.

Introduce Someone Else
Have you met my coworker Patty? you ask the nameless person. I dont believe I have, he says, My name is Roger. Its nice to meet you Patty. Roger. Thats his name! You thought it was Antonio! Thank God you introduced him to someone else or you would be floating up the eponymous creek.

Furthermore, if you introduce someone you just met to another person, it allows you to: take control of the conversation, show your willingness to encourage connections and expand someone elses network of colleagues.

Listen and Look for Name Freebies
More often than not, you wont be the only person who knows the name of your new colleague. This means that other people will say their name, and you will be reminded. No charge. All you have to do is pay attention.

Also remember to keep your eyes open for subtle, visual reminders such as business cards, receipts, nametags, jewelry, table tents and personal papers. Without getting too nosey, it will be easy to identify these name freebies that paint you out of your memory corners.

These ten effective techniques to remember names will be helpful to cross the chasm between you and a potential colleague or associate. When you identify and amplify someones name, you wont suffer a loss of face. Ultimately, your interactions and conversations will become more personal and comfortable.

Practice. Practice. Practice. Thats the hard part. But over time you will learn how these different techniques for name memory will work best for you.

Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. Thats the easy part. However, while practice enhances your name memory over time, it only takes a few seconds to decide to change your attitude. Dont yourself that you cant remember names. In fact, from this moment on, you are no longer bad with names. Combine this new attitude with your recently acquired skills, and youll never have to say Hey you! again.

Its ended now, hopefully, but until a while ago they were squabbling - like dogs? Children? Enemies? Or what?

What makes a brother fight brother, I wonder! What makes one brother treat another like the biggest of enemies?

If at all there is anyone in the world who can truly understand one, it is a brother or a childhood friendand, yes, a sister in the case of a girl, with exceptions, of course! Yet, brothers fight brothers and have been doing so for centuries. Some have gone to the extent of exiling their brothers or even stopping them short with a well-directed knife in the heart, from behind!

I know, there are theories of all sorts sibling rivalry et al. But, is that all? I mean, even when the brothers are not kids any more and therefore, are not really fighting for their parents love (what with many of them having already departed for their unearthly abodes and so on), they keep at it. And, sometimes, they fight over trifles. Mostly over inheritance rights, even when there is more than they can use in a lifetime or seven. Everyone saw the recent bigfight on TV, newspapers etc. The inheritance in question was a mindnumbing sum running into tens of thousands of crores. If one of them had agreed to even a mere one percent of the sum in question, he would have had enough to last many lifetimes except, of course, that the one with 99% would have all the power and the one with 1% very little - in comparison. So, I guess, its all about power.

Yes, power that is the one thing all men (or shall I say, most) desire most. Power means wealth, influence, the ability to spread ones genes far and wide, just as the crafty Chenghiz Khan did some hundred years ago (I forget the actual dates). Yes, he was powerful, wealthy, conquered and controlled large territories and most importantly, sowed his oats with wild abandon, becoming in the process, the most successful man ever in the spread-my-genes-far-and-wide stakes.

I wonder, how many brothers today who squabble with their kin and stab them in the back and front, have the balls to do what Chenghiz did. If they cant do so, their best bet would be to let their brothers, with a similar gene pool, continue to prosper and do well and spread their collective genes.

Boy! I have come a long way from brotherhood to fatherhood! I think I ought to stop this rambling right here, before my brother reads this and gets a peek into my mind, claiming all my share of paternal property (or at least, 99%of it).

Is it better to take less and live happily or is it better to fight over the smallest crumbs and spend ones life paying lawyers, picnicking in courts and filing false accusations against each other? I wonder!

I happen to live near the one of the tragic "school shootings" of the recent past, and I've seen how the grief, anger, heartache and turmoil have impacted our community. It has brought home that a general abhorrence of violence is not enough. While I'm sure others will have different, and perhaps wiser, suggestions about how to reduce violence, here are my Top 10 Ways to Reduce Violence. If you can improve them, I welcome your feedback, but I suspect it may be more important and more useful if you write a letter to your local newspaper or school board. Together, we can reduce and perhaps eliminate violence.

1. Disconnect anger from violence. I am convinced that human beings get angry, and that anger at injustice is often justified. There is healthy anger that insists, "There has to be a better way!" I shutter when I hear parents tell children, "You shouldn't be angry." Tell them instead, "You're feelings are OK, you can be angry, but you may not hit or hurt others."

2. See the connection between the love of violence and violence itself. Fascination with brutality, guns and bombs, war and evil must increase the chances for violent behavior. I can't prove that, it just seems likely to me.

3. See the connection between all levels of violence. Insults and taunting, humiliation and shaming are forms of violence. When we treat people badly, it should not surprise us when they seek a way to "get even."

4. Take all violence seriously. Playground bullies and sibling rivalries do not have to be accepted as part of life, at least not when children are getting hurt. Kids squabbling over "my toy" is one thing; hitting or pulling hair or knocking each other down is something else. We do not have to accept it as normal behavior.

5. Take troubled, angry people seriously. We talk about needing more early intervention with troubled kids, and I agree. But people of all ages get trapped in situations they can't handle, with emotions they don't know how to express. Domestic violence, violence among co-workers and among children should always be treated as a serious matter. Hitting and hurting, and threatening to hurt, are not OK.

6. Deal with the availability of guns. Knives, cars, and a thousand other things also kill people, but guns have a unique place in the American imagination. Of course, they also have a place in the rich tradition of hunting and target shooting. I don't have all the answers, but hunting seems different than having military-style weapons available in millions of homes across the country. There must be a better system.

7. Acknowledge the connection between violent images and violent behavior. I abhor censorship, so this is a tough one. But if 30-second images can sell us lipstick and Buicks, and change the way we vote, it seems likely that hours and hours of explosions, shootings, fights and mayhem may also influence behavior. To be blunt, I am particularly troubled by the violence in video games and the number of violent "action adventure" movies we support as a culture. Something strange is going on!

8. Acknowledge the connection between sports and violent behavior. Again, sports is a sacred icon in American culture, but it seems that sports have been separated from athletics. Instead of every child participating in gym class and competing in intramural sports, we have a culture of super-hero super-stars who are virtually above the law. Hockey, basketball, football and other sports all tolerate behavior that would result in arrest for assault outside the sports arena. Competition and fitness are valuable; organized violence is not acceptable!

9. Acknowledge the connection between language and violence. Business uses the language of the battlefield, and sports is full of encouragement to "get out there and kill", "massacre them", and "beat their brains out". Our legal system is based on the idea of lawyer's doing battle. While hiring a representative to fight with words instead of clubs was a huge step forward in the middle ages, perhaps our society is ready for an even higher level of conflict resolution.

10. See the violence in ourselves. Sometimes I find myself so angry I "daydream" about violence, or "really showing them". I hear jokes that use the phrase, "Just shoot the bastards!" I know if "looks could kill" or if cutting statements actually drew blood, I'd be in deep trouble. Violence is not just someone else's problem. I must work for peace, love and improved conflict resolution in my own life. How about you?

When I became pregnant with my daughter, Aubrey, I was 21 years old, freshly married and scared to death! I read all the books, including the "What to Expect" series (even the infant and toddler ones). All these books gave us "one size fits all" kind of parenting advice.

When Aubrey was born, we practiced the "one size fit's all"; parenting advocated by all the books I read. We encouraged her to fall asleep on her on, meaning we let her cry herself to sleep. I also encouraged Aubrey to feel comfortable playing alone, and not need me. I did however KNOW that breast milk was best, and since I did not know that the resources were out there to seek help to learn HOW to breastfeed, I pumped.

Fast-forward 5 years.

I unexpectedly got pregnant with my son. This time I found myself alone. So, instead of reading (yet again) all the more mainstream books, I instead turned to my heart. I searched my heart for the kind of parent I wanted to be. The kind of child I wanted my son or daughter to be. I was not going to have help this time, so it had to be something I would understand, stick with and love, unlike the parenting style I choose with my older daughter.

I had no idea about Attachment Parenting. I did not know there was a name for how I instinctively parented my son. I just followed heart. I was steadfast in my resolve to breastfeed my son. I sought so much help in this. I had issues, just like many other first time nursing mommas. From problems with to much milk, to problems with the pace that my milk did flow as well. We struggled, but it was a struggle that really made me feel good, like I was really doing the best thing possible for myself and my child. We eventually "got it" and it was/is the best thing in the world for both of us!

Then while at a LLL Meeting someone was wearing a ring sling. I thought it was amazing to be able to hold your baby AND get something done! So I bought one. This was my first and not my most comfortable, but I learned that I could have my newborn son with me, and still tend to my 5-year-old daughter and get work done around the house.

I searched, high and low, to find the perfect sling for me. I learned how many different types there were, and decided on how I liked mine best. When I did not find one on the market that catered to my needs and wants, I created my own.

It was not till then, that I accidentally bumped into the name "Attachment Parenting"; I started reading, and was amazed and shocked that there were other mommas just like me. Mommas who loved their children enough to listen to their hearts AND their children's cries! I also learned that my co-sleeping is actually a great way to "attachment" parent, and is especially good when you are breastfeeding.

I was introduced to cloth diapers, which at first I thought, "NO WAY; Are people NUTS?"; Well I know different now. I then began cloth diapering my then 8 month old little boy. The patterns are so fun, the work is minimal and I know that I am doing just a little part to save the earth. Not to mention save some money! Another added benefit to my choosing cloth, is my son has extremely sensitive skin, and with cloth diapers he has had not ONE break out -- not even a hint of any type of diaper rash.

To me Attachment Parenting is not at all about a set guidelines though this is the set provided by Attachment Parenting International:

1. Preparation for Childbirth

2. Emotional Responsiveness

3. Breastfeed your Baby

4. Baby Wearing

5. Shared sleep and Safe Sleeping Guidelines

6. Avoid frequent and prolonged separations from your baby

7. Positive Discipline

8. Maintain balance in your family life

We (as a family) practice several or most of these guidelines, now. Though like I said, my daughter as a baby was not parented this way, so I have a good sense of the exact diffrences in the two children.

Why these guidelines are nice to see, they are (to me) just that guidelines, to me Attachment parenting is more about Instinctive parenting listening to my heart and doing what comes naturally to me, not about some set of guidelines I "must" follow.

Now my son is 22 months old, still and still totally "Attachment Parented," which to me means he is continueing to co-sleep, nurse, is still being worn on a daily basis, and still has cute cloth on his little butt every day AND night.

He walks, has started talking, and is becoming a real "little man" (I am sometimes sad to say.) I am confident that he is so well adjusted because I was and am so steadfast in "my kind of parenting"; and my beliefs.